Dear Roommate

Thanks for being a passive aggressive asshole and walking on the wet floor that I just mopped.  And of course for topping this ridiculously inconsiderate action by bringing your dog in to track muddy paw prints on the wet floor and on the just vacuumed carpet...

I would expect that you would now take some responsibility and clean up the muddy paw prints on the wet floor and carpet,  but I would be wrong. 

Instead you will leave them there to either be ground into the carpet, or left for me to take care of.

Thanks for that... 

BTW - Hiding in your room while I do all the cleaning, then immediately coming out to make a mess, just when I've finished, makes you not only a shitty roommate, but a shitty person.  Just because you pay your rent on time doesn't mean you're a good roommate, so stop telling me that you are.  Here is a question for you.  How many times have you and your boyfriend used the bathroom here in the past 6 months?   And how many times have you cleaned it?  NONE, ZERO, ZILCH, NADA!

I get that you don't give a shit and never actually clean anything yourself, but for fuck sake, don't be a total asshole when I do!

I'm not your fucking maid!